The Adventures of Captain Wesley Crusher

As I mentioned before, Warp 11 was initially spawned as an idea for a weekly Internet TV show we were doing back in 99 called the Prime Directive. The show was a half an hour long and the band was created to fill about 4 minutes of said show each week. We also did things like Trek news, Trek haiku, Trek commercials and the intros to fake Trek TV shows like the one you’re about to see here. With the benefit of hindsight I would have made it about half the length it is but hey… when you’re filling 30 minutes a week you tend to pad where you can. This song was written by Warp 11. The music was performed by our drunk sound man, David Baxley, because it’s impossible for us (Warp 11) to play music that doesn’t f#@%ing ROCK. Enjoy!

Wesley Crusher Yeah!

In times of need we all need a helping hand
Someone to care someone to love and understand
From the stars so far away he has come
With a smile on his face, that’s brighter than the sun

You know he’s gonna make it better
Wesley crusher yeah
A clean-cut lad in his new sweater
Wesley crusher yeah
He is a friend to you and me
Wesley crusher yeah he’s cheering up the galaxy Wesley crusher yeah

He can fly any ship that was ever made
He’s not like Captain Kirk, he never gets laid
But he can travel anywhere through time and space
With his hair like Bob’s big boy and a smile on his face


He’ll save the universe
He’ll never say a curse
He’ll help us see the light today
He’s always so polite
Yeah he won’t scratch or bite
He’s effeminate… But he isn’t gay

A Little Trek With Your Wars?

JJ Abrams is smarter than I originally thought. Knowing FULL WELL that NO ONE wants to see a new Star Wars film, he has BRILLIANTLY decided to put the trailer for the next STAR TREK film entitled “Star Trek Beyond” at the beginning of his traitorous little flick that comes out this Friday.

I guess I will see The Force Awakens after all… 😉


Slot Trek

I know they told me not to gamble but when I saw it… something just came over me. How could I lose?
For weeks I sat before it. Feeding it money as one might give tribute to some forgotten, HUNGRY God.

Don’t worry…. I’ll win it back…

A lot of people have 3 mortgages on their house…

It’s going to pay out soon. The next one for sure!

Alas. I was wrong.
My machine is a harsh mistress.


Nothing says “Merry Christmas” Like Mr. Spock Slowly Dying of Radiation Poisoning!

Hallmark must secretly work for George Lucas because I’m just not seeing the connection between Christmas and the saddest moment in Trek history. Regardless, you can pick up your very own “Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan™ Mr. Spock and Captain Kirk, The Needs of the Many Ornament” here. Hellmark


Now if I can just convince Hallmark to make the “Edith Keeler Getting Run Over by a Car™” & “Transporter Accident From Star Trek the Motion Picture™” ornaments, I’ll be ready to kick off this holiday season in style!