Well, they call me Bones and I'm
third in command
Second in line is a man I just can't
stand
He's a green blooded, pointy-eared,
seven year itch
And when he pon farrs
He'll try to make me his bitch
Well, I may or may not have divorced
my wife
But I damn sure pulled the plug on
my daddy's life
And two months later, well, they found
a cure
I'm just an old country doctor on
a damned five year tour
The damned teleporter
Yeah, it gives me the creeps
The first time I used it
I couldn't get it up for weeks
Now my tricorder's busted
And sick bay just stinks
I guess I'll just go replicate me
a drink
Chorus
Well, Jim is the captain of this
here ship
We call her the Enterprise, and the
crew's pretty hip
Yeah, the girls all wear go-go boots
and miniskirts
And I spend my days patching all the
red shirts
Well, I have been asked to do many
a thing
Outside the area of my expertise
Damn it Jim, I know I've told you
before
Damn it Jim, I know I've told you
before
Damn it Jim, damn it Jim, I told you
before
I'm just an old country doctor
on a damned five year tour
Just an old country doctor on a damned
five year tour
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